Sarah Faygie Berkowitz
Twenty years ago, a superwoman named Azriella Jaffe, mom, wife, college professor, author of two dozen books, business owner, and a frum woman, realised that Fridays were becoming total chaos. After one of her kids said I hate Shabbos! (read: I hate the Friday stress), Azriela said something’s gotta give.
She discovered the concept of chatzos Shabbos, took it on for herself, and started writing about it and spreading the word. She launched a website to answer questions and provide info, a chat group for peer support and encouragement, and sent out emails with stories and ideas. A chatzos Shabbos movement began that is still going strong today, inspiring thousands to make a life-changing paradigm shift.
Those who made efforts to be mostly ready for Shabbos by midday Friday saw all kinds of blessings in their lives (improved ‘indoor air quality’ being the most notable difference), and parents and kids generally felt a unique calmness on Friday afternoons.
Many discovered that their grandparents made chatzos Shabbos. Being ready for Shabbos earlier in the day, rather than rushing frantically, was the norm in previous generations. Women (and men) didn’t juggle as many jobs, side dishes, responsibilities, and social or self-imposed pressures.
People asked all kinds of questions to the Chatzos Lady: Can you do melacha and deal with muktza on Friday afternoon (yes, of course), what if I work on Fridays (who doesn’t), how will the food be fresh (pre-marinade, and just pop in oven Friday)… and slowly slowly they started to figure it out, sharing their struggles, accomplishments, and the things they learned along the way.
One day, a superwoman-wannabe in Atlanta discovered chatzos Shabbos. What a concept, she thought. And immediately began planning how she could change up her week to make things less frantic, and to bring more blessings into her home (because, shocker of shockers, not everything was going so smoothly in life). She was working on The Shabbat Project 2020 and looking for ways to enhance Shabbos for her community, and so she started sharing ideas, recipes, wisdom and stories via email and a homegrown website. She talked often to the Chatzos Lady, who was ready to take a step back from her role as spreader of information and hand over the reins.
So that’s the story. For five years now, I’ve been spreading the word in the hopes of inspiring myself and others to get this right. It’s a journey. Some people learn about Chatzos Shabbos and take the express lane and arrive quickly at the place where everything’s good to go. Others struggle each week. We play catch-up because we missed a day, we rely on freezer backups because curveballs are hit, and we may or may not still rush around a little in the hour before candlelighting. But overall, life is different. Subtly, but notably.
When stuff happens on Fridays (when doesn’t it?), It’s not panic-inducing. And doing a little intentional Shabbos prep on other days of the week feels very fulfilling and organised. So you get time management points, and holy points, and you get to be happy for all those good points, so then you’re spreading smiles and cheer, too, and the list just goes on.
Basically, how can you not consider this?
The more harried and frantic your Fridays are, the more you need this. For some reason, doing small things each day makes a huge difference on Thursday and Friday. It doesn’t add up, but somehow it does.
And if you’re one of those special types who has an organised last-minute Shabbos prep system that works and you don’t want to change it because actually, no, your Fridays aren’t frantic: So then I ask, is everything perfect in your life? Do you have any problematic issues that can use a little Divine Intervention?
Lots of very wise, very holy learned men and women have told us that the way to improve your life and receive more blessings is by enhancing Shabbos. When you spread Shabbos prep through the week, you’re not just engaging in time management. You’re bringing down more spirituality and more blessings. And this system ideally leads to your ability to greet the Shabbos queen, well, like a queen. You may have been a cleaning lady a few hours before, and a chef before that, wiping noses or balancing spreadsheets… but come candle lighting – you are IT. It’s just you and God, sister, and this is your moment.
One final story, which may not be the best ‘sales tactic’ for convincing you to work on this mitzvah, but was a reality check for me.
Once I took on the mitzvah of Chatzos Shabbos, Friday afternoon looked very different in our home. No more counters cluttered with small appliances and people reaching over each other to finish cooking. Instead, it was quiet and calm, clean and clear, and the kitchen was relatively empty.
I was pretty proud of this accomplishment, but after a few weeks, my teenage daughter came to me. She said, Mommy, I miss the frantic rush. It was so fun when we all worked in the kitchen together, music was playing, and things were flying. I’m not sure I like this quiet, calm Erev Shabbos.
Wow. Paradigm shift. How to bring back the fun without the chaos. So that was my new challenge, and we agreed that playing music was definitely a thing, even if we weren’t cooking, and that sometimes you have to let something go to achieve something else. We’re all still figuring it out.
Chatzos Shabbos is not halacha. It can be personalised to each family and look different, as long as the goal is increasing spirituality and decreasing stress. Making a full Chatzos commitment is not for everyone, and even making one change is admirable. It can be setting the Shabbos table on Thursday night, regardless of what else is ready. Or cutting back on the menu by one item to gain a little more time.
Wishing us all hatzlacha in finding and maintaining ways to enhance Shabbos. Through this mitzvah, we should merit to see tremendous blessing in our lives.
Feel free to reach out to me with any chatzos-related questions – just not on Friday, please. 😉
Learn more at www.GiftofChatzos.com.
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